By George Fallar 
The Winnipeg Jets, the rehashed Thrasher version, will be in Glendale on April 1.
Coyotes fans are certain the NHL was being ironic with their scheduling, welcoming the Jets and their fans to Glendale on April Fool’s Day.
Since they got lucky and destroyed the Coyotes in Winnipeg, probably to impress their new coach, the Coyotes will be fired up.
The weather will be, as usual, spectacular in the Sonoran Desert. In fact, many of us think that April and October are even MORE spectacular than the other months here. Typical high temperature is 80F on April 1. In the evening, it’s a comfy (with a jacket) 56F.
The weather in Winnipeg will be somewhere between the end of mud season and the beginning of black fly season. In other words, a great time to bail out for sunnier climes. Typical high temperature is 43F on April 1 and, of course, below freezing (27F) at night.
Since there’s enough of you donkeys that have been chirping us for years about how only Canadians can play hockey and there’s no hockey in the desert, we’re inviting you to put your money where your mouths are.
Since you’re the best fans in the world and you maintain that Coyotes tickets are free (or close to it), there’s no reason for you chuckleheads not to hop a cheap flight to Arizona to see your team play, right?
Anyway, bring your hockey gear, if you have the nerve, and join us for a real game at one of the many rinks in our beautiful Valley of the Sun. The ice time is on us, and we promise not to hurt you too badly (other than your pride, of course). Let’s figure on Monday, March 31 so you have time to rest up from being destroyed and you can make the NHL game at an arena that isn’t so teensy-weensy.
Our great owners have even opened a Timmy’s just for you.
We need to know ahead of time how many of you are SAYING you’ll show up, then we’ll probably adjust that down fifty percent (at least) to allow for the “all talk no action” factor. See, we have a problem with EVERY SHEET OF ICE BEING BOOKED ALL THE TIME down here in the desert, so advanced planning is required.
Maybe we should require a deposit that’s refundable at the rink? We’ll figure it out.
Seriously, though, do it. We’ll have some fun and be done with the stupidity.
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